A Stoked Shampooer

There is something so insanely gratifying about shampooing a carpet, that even on my birthday, a day for relaxation and ice cream, I wanted nothing more than to break out the shampooer. The Bissell Proheat Turbo 2x was one of a few gifts from my dear Danny. (One of them was a Himalayan Salt Stone, but that’s for another blog…) Now before all the women become furious that Danny would get me such a domestically insulting present, let me explain that I wanted it. I’ve wanted a shampooer ever since we lived in our dinky little apartment and I borrowed my mother in laws. I saw it work its magic on my puppy stained beige carpets, and I was sold. From soiled to saintly…my carpets transformed before my eyes like magic. I was in love.

Since that day, I have dreamed about owning a shampooer. Two dogs that are allowed outside and in, as well as a husband who is allowed outside and in, will make most people at least pay Stanley Steamers to come out for a cleaning. But I wanted more, I wanted the ability to clean my sofa when I felt like it, and now I have that ability.

My cotton covered couch and chairs have been around since the early nineties. They survived me, my brother, and the family dog Lady (RIP) and have served us Lehrs for almost 5 years now. It was either time to get new furniture, call Coit, or get a shampooer. I preferred the latter, so I could get a few more years out of the furniture and clean the bedroom carpets whenever I felt like it.

Like Danny usually does, he went all out. He got me a near professional grade shampooer. There is a heat button, so that I can make the already hot tap water 25 degrees hotter. There are about 5 different attachments so that I can get all the nooks and crannies. One of the attachments has a separate solution holder, for those really tough jobs. It also has double the brushes, to really scrub those carpets. No, Bissell is not paying me for this blog, I’m just very excited…

Today I used the cleaner on one of my chairs. This is the chair that Butch likes to crawl into at night (even though he is not allowed to) and get his filth all over. The chair is plaid and is navy blue with white. Let me correct myself, the white had turned to a disturbing off white. I tried all sorts of hand spray upholstery cleaners, with little success. I covered the chair with a blanket, knowing that in the wee hours of the night Butch will get on the chair, yet still the blanket would shift…causing me a great deal of agony.

I attacked the chair with the hand tool labeled “upholstery brush.” I also used the “crevice tool” for the hard to reach places. I used the cleaning solution that it came with and went to town. At first I was just going to do an inconspicuous place to make sure the fabric didn’t bleed, but I just couldn’t hold back my excitement and figured it would be fine. It was. It was more than fine, it was fantastic. The yellowy beige parts are now white. The most satisfying part was watching the yucky dirty water get sucked back up into the vacuum. If I could compare the feeling to anything, I would say it is like when a respiratory therapist suctions one of our baby's nostrils/endotracheal tube and gets a giant glob out. Yes, it was that satisfying.

Now that I have my shampooer, there are endless cleaning possibilities. I can even get an attachment to clean my wood floors! I am not a clean freak, just a stoked shampooer. Perhaps tomorrow I will clean the other chair, or the couch…or the spot that was left over from the previous owner in the guest bedroom. Watch out world, my Bissell Proheat Turbo 2x is on the attack!